27 January 2012

My Favourite Fictional Bands

Rock bands are cool.
At least they are until they do an incomprehensible musical experiment, or a truly dreadful cover version, or they split up, or they go on a godawful reality show to boost exposure.
So maybe the best rock bands are the ones that don't technically exist. They aren't trying to get your money, they probably won't create any real life controversy, and best of all they have the potential to be and do just about anything.
Plus it's very easy to ignore anything they've done that you don't like.

Here are 5 of my favourite bands that don't technically exist.

Dr Teeth and the Electric Mayhem
Probably the most extant band on this list as they do have physical form and participate in actual performances. As the house band on the Muppet Show they are also the longest-running and most successful band listed. In this role they have played back-up to a variety of real celebrities.

Dr. Teeth - keyboards, pianos and vocals
Floyd Pepper - bass guitar, banjo, vibes and vocals
Zoot - saxophone, clarinet, flute and tuba
Janis - lead guitar, tambourine, trombone, trumpet and vocals
Animal - drums
(Plus various additional members with different instruments, most commonly Ralph on piano.)

The Muppet Show & various Muppet films.

Mystik Spiral 
(but we're thinking of changing the name) 
In the late nineties/early... um, are we really still calling that decade the noughties? Cos it sounds pretty silly, and it'll only sound worse by the time we're in the twenties.
Anyway, there was this great cartoon about an alternative (but not very alternative) girl called Daria. I may have identified with it fairly heavily.
Mystik Spiral were a grunge rock, garage band fronted by slacker Trent Lane, whose sister Jane was Daria's best friend The band were portrayed fairly negatively in the show and certainly didn't seem to be on the road to either commercial or musical success. Despite being useless at actually doing stuff, they did manage to get various gigs.

Trent - lead singer and guitarist
Jesse - 2nd guitarist
Nick - bass guitarist
Max - drummer


The Band with Rocks In
The most successful band on the Discworld met in the waiting room of the Musicians Guild of Anhk Morpork. When Imp Y Celyn (who later changed his name to Buddy) needed a new instrument the group went to one of those Little Shops and Buddy found both a guitar and a literally enthralling new sound, Music With Rocks In.
Managed by CMOT Dibbler the band caused Music With Rocks In Fever to sweep Anhk Morpork and the other cities of the Plains, causing young people and wizards to do strange dances and wear leather robes with studs in. Soon the band were so big they had to run for their lives from mobs of screaming fans and angry cheese aficionados (Buddy claimed they were bigger than cheeses).

Buddy - guitarist and vocals
Glod - horn "I can blow anything, me."
Lias - drummer
The Librarian - pianist

Discworld, specifically Soul Music the novel and animated TV series.

Wyld Stallyns
The music of Wyld Stallyns will be incredibly important in just under seven centuries, when it will form the basis of a utopian society, which has also developed time travel. Of course to our unenlightened viewpoint it sounds like the amateurish but enthusiastic strummings of a couple of young slackers. We will just have to trust Rufus (who does come from the future) when he says they get better.

Bill S. Preston Esq. - (air)guitar and vocals
Ted "Theodore" Logan - (air)guitar and vocals
Princess Elizabeth - drums/keyboard (not sure which)
Princess Joanna - drums/keyboard (not sure which)

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure
Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey
Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventures (The children's cartoon series which first introduced me to the characters and concept, but didn't really feature the Princesses.)

Yum Yum Sugary Snacks
The band was formed by degenerate slackers and werewolf twins Butix (Beauty) and Delix (Delicious) who aspire to rock stardom, but never got anywhere with it due to laziness, alcoholism and crippling stage fright. When their relentless, efficient cousin Dominil is tasked with helping them (in order to secure their votes for Clan politicking) the band not only starts practicing but actually get some gigs and publicity, despite many arguments. The band name was suggested by Dominil, based on exclamations the twins made when gorging on chocolate. Their biggest fan is probably Agrivex, an enthusiastic, teenage fire elemental from a neighbouring dimension.

Beauty - guitar and vocals
Delicious - guitar and vocals
Pete - guitar
Adam - drums
Simon - bass
Hamil  - keyboards
My thanks to @martinmillar1 for tweeting a full list of the band members.

Lonely Werewolf Girl and Curse of the Wolf Girl by Martin Millar


  1. Psst, it's Janis (as in Joplin), not Janice.
    On that nerdery, I depart.
    (PS, Daria is being repeated on MTV)

    1. I've amended the spelling. Though you might want to have a word with the Muppet Wiki, that's where I got my info.

      Sadly I don't think we have MTV. We have some MTV channels, but I think they're the ones that actually play music videos.