Star Trek TNG

At Eastercon 2012 (in Heathrow) I was instructed to blog about Star Trek: The Next Generation by my friend Tom. This was after a drunken conversation in the hotel bar, during which my thoughts about the series had Tom in stitches. Apparently I'm hilarious, and as it turns out that is exactly the kind of compliment that works on me.

This isn't a rewatch as there are many episodes I haven't seen. It's me writing what I think with the intention of taking a humorous view. You don't have to know the show to read these posts, though I'm assuming many readers will know it better than me.

My own geekery doesn't come from a Trek background. I've barely seen 2 episodes of the original series. I remember Next Gen being on BBC 2 at teatime as a kid, I watched bits and pieces. I generally prefer Deep Space Nine.

I'm also going to keep blogging about books, television, and other stuff that takes my fancy.

Thanks to Tom (the instigator) and Dave C. (the supplier of DVDs) without whom I wouldn't be doing this, and presumably wouldn't have had a large bump in pageviews from the US.

Series 1
Encounter at Farpoint - scary 90s screensaver & magical space jellyfish
The Naked Now - irritating, precocious kid is irritating & people are out of uniform
Code of Honour - planet of Black people & horrible stereotypes
The Last Outpost - Ferengis are bad news & mysterious guardians are mysterious
Where No One Has Gone Before - at the end of the universe Wesley is a Mary-Sue
Lonely Among Us - Picard tries to move in with a space cloud
Justice - Bimbo planet with god-satellite
The Battle - The inventor of the Picard Manoeuvre has hallucinations
Hide and Q - Riker goes mad with power, kind of
Haven - Lwaxana Troi, yay!
The Big Goodbye - 1930s holodeck confusingness, with hats
Datalore - Evil twins, the android way
Angel One - attempted genderswap planet where Riker dresses to impress
11001001 - the imaginary woman of Riker's dreams
Too Short A Season - Admiral changes dynamic of his marriage, with youthfulness
When The Bough Breaks - Children abducted by mysterious folk try passive resistance
Home Soil - Humans blunder across new life, it goes badly
Coming of Age - Despite being great at all the things Wesley doesn't get into the Academy
25th Anniversary Week: Heart of Glory - Klingons like roaring and fighting
Arsenal of Freedom - arms dealers are just the worst, especially long-dead ones
Symbiosis - drug dealers and their victims, in space
Skin of Evil - main character killed by evil tar puddle
We'll Always Have Paris - Ex-girlfriends, regrets and very mild time travel
Conspiracy - Treachery, danger and brainlice
The Neutral Zone - 1980s yuppie-smarts vs Romulan bluffing

Series 2   
The Child - Troi's mysterious pregnancy and dull alien baby
Where Silence Has Lease - murderous, giant face traps spaceship
Elementary, Dear Data - holodeck Holmes fanfic
The Outrageous Okona - bad jokes and disappointing roguishness
Loud As A Whisper - Deaf people can do things too
The Schizoid Man - Data is possessed by a sexist ghost
Unnatural Selection - Teen lab rats and mysterious aging
A Matter of Honour - Riker is the exchange student on a Klingon ship
The Measure of a Man - Is Data a person? What is a person anyway?
The Dauphin - young love and shapeshifting (no Dauphins though)
Contagion - Picard really likes old stuff, more than regulations
The Royale - Hotel California, in space! (with my very badly improvised lyrics)
Time Squared - Picard times 2
The Icarus Factor - Riker has daddy-issues
Pen Pals - little girl befriends android via radio
Q Who - Q and Borg
Samaritan Snare - Sneaky idiots
Up The Long Ladder - outdated Irish stereotypes meet clones
Manhunt - Lwaxana Troi, yay! Older woman being mocked for having sexuality, boo!
The Emissary - Worf has a personal life, who knew?
Peak Performance - War games, in space
Shades of Gray - It's the William Riker clip show!

Series 3
Evolution - Dr Crusher is back, yay! (Wesley does something)
The Ensigns of Command - Data negotiates and Picard eventually does research
The Survivors - a magic old man and a song that'll get on your nerves
Who Watches the Watchers - Picard, when someone asks if you're a god, you say yes
The Bonding - sad orphan, surrogate alien mummy
Booby Trap - Geordi is super into his work, in a weird way
The Enemy - Guide Romulans for the Blind
The Price - sometimes a guy and/or wormhole seems great, but...
The Vengeance Factor - your family killed my family, prepare to die
The Defector - A very sad end for a brave man
The Hunted- If Capt America was branded as dangerous and exiled after the war
The High Ground - Separatists: freedom-fighters or terrorists?
Deja Q - An unbearable taste of humanity
A Matter of Perspective - Who is telling the truth? What is truth anyway?
Yesterday's Enterprise - War, romance and alternate timelines
The Offspring - Data's approach to parenting
Sins of The Father - Worf has family issues, who knew?
Allegiance - Picard is captured and duplicated, for science!
Captain's Holiday - Picard is the love interest to a rougish archaeologist
Hollow Pursuits - a mid-ranking crewmember battles shyness, featuring historically floppy hats
The Most Toys - Data meets his actual match in the creepiest villain so far
Sarek - father of a famous son and sufferer of a cruel disease
Menage a Troi - No good plotlines for the Troi women
Transfigurations - Even an undisruptive guest causes trouble, with glowy magic
Best of Both Worlds Pt. 1 - More Borg for your buck

Series 4
Best of Both Worlds pt. 2 - Borg are battled within and without
Family - in which characters have relatives and issues and emotional depth
Brothers - further relative-having and associated issues, with cruelty and androids
Suddenly Human - inter-species wartime adoption and child protection issues
Remember Me - Dr Crusher loses people and Wesley's old admirer returns
Legacy - sometimes people are different, even if they're sisters
Reunion - Two devastating blasts from Worf's past
Future Imperfect - Riker in the future, or is he?
Final Mission - Goodbye Wesley, here's a survival situation and magic fountain to see you off
The Loss - Is losing powers the same as a disability?
Data's Day - Data goes about his business and notices things
The Wounded - Old enemies aren't necessarily untrustworthy (except when they're Cardassians)
Devil's Due - Sympathy for the fake devil
Clues - Picard loves a mystery and is in charge of everyone's memories
First Contact - Not everyone is ready for the final frontier
Galaxy's Child - Geordi is inappropriate in the workplace and I get angry
Night Terrors - Everyone's sanity rests on Troi's dreams
Identity Crisis - Geordi and his friend are in mysterious danger
The Nth Degree - Barclay's brain gets supersized with limited long-term consequences
QPid - Q makes everyone join in with his Robin Hood fanfic and Picard has commitment issues
The Drumhead - Admirals be trouble and one takes justice into her own hands
Half A Life - Lwaxana Troi deals with real emotion and heartbreak
The Host - A Trill different to what I'm used to and heteronormative attitudes
The Mind's Eye - Poor Geordi is kidnapped and brainwashed
In Theory - Data enters into a romantic relationship, I am uncomfortable
Redemption (Part 1) - Trouble in the Klingon Empire and Worf goes to clear his family name

Series 5
Redemption (part 2) - Klingon civil war and Romulan plotting
Darmok - Picard and Dathon on a hunt and build a bond
Ensign Ro - Bajorans are introduced and the Enterprise has a reluctant new crewmember
Silicon Avatar -  an old adversary returns and Data stirs strong feelings in a scientist
Disaster - It's all gone pear-shaped and Picard is stuck with some kids
The Game - Addictive gaming conspiracy solved by plucky young people
Unification Part 1 - Picard and Data chase down Spock, everyone else chases a missing ship
Unification Part 2 - Spock and missing ship found, nefarious plan foiled
A Matter of Time - A quirky time traveller with a superior attitude causes trouble (not a crossover)
New Ground - New parenting is tricky, as are space waves
Hero Worship - sad orphan, android role-model
Violations - an exploration of abuse and predation
Masterpiece Society - this is a local bio-dome, for local people
Conundrum - Mass-amnesia and an unfamiliar face
Power Play - Better quarantine/firewall procedures badly needed
Ethics - Disability the Klingon way is awful, and medical ethics exist for a reason
The Outcast - Riker's clearly-doomed queer relationship feels awkward